Terrorism v. Rainbows
October 10th, 1991 – Disgruntled postal worker Joseph Harris kills four people in Ridgewood, New Jersey. First he brings an Uzi, pipe bomb, and a samurai sword to his supervisor's home, where he kills her and her fiancé. Then Harris visits the post office, shooting two coworkers. When he finally surrenders to police, the gunman is wearing a ninja costume and a gas mask. Thus, incorporating the term “Going Postal” to describe any time that a person feels the need to dress up like a ninja and stab his boss.
Some people say that I'm too cynical for my own good. I've never really understood this because I don't see being cynical as a bad thing, I see it more as a way to cope with what will probably become the inevitable. Let me give you an example:
You finally get a day off from work and you are given the choice to hang out with a) your friend that always has a smile on his face and a song in his heart, or b) your friend that seems to constantly have a dark cloud hanging over his head and hopes for global annihilation just to get the whole damned thing over with. Who would you choose?
Personally, I wouldn’t have a friend with a song in his heart. These people live in a world of their own making, filled with butterflies and rainbows. They are not to be trusted. These are the kind of people who will tell you that everything’s going to be alright when your wife has left you, your dog has been hit by a train, the IRS is about to audit your income for the past ten years, and George Bush is reelected to run our world. “It’s OK,” they’ll tell you, “being president is a hard job and he’s doing the best he can.” These people are to be smacked upside the head at every given opportunity, and then sent along on their merry way.
Now, the doom and gloom character is much more likely to gain my vote of confidence. This is the guy who will smack YOU upside the head whenever you begin to feel good about the world, in an attempt to wake you up to the stark reality of your life and the world in which we live. This person is a true friend.
The problem isn’t with the cynics of the world, it’s with the people who confuse cynicism with pessimism. The differences being that, while the optimist sees the glass as half-full and the pessimist sees the glass being half-empty, the cynic suspects that the water is tainted with anthrax and that global terrorism is probably involved. Now, once the cyanide factor comes into play, the water level no longer makes any difference does it? You may walk away thirsty, but at least you’re able to walk!
Then, there are those special people out there who will tell you that cynics are really just paranoiacs. This, too, is incorrect. Cynics aren’t paranoid as much as they just tend to weigh the odds of survival more than most people. However, there are people who can be considered paranoiac pessimists, but they can usually be avoided because they’re easy to spot in a crowd. They’re the one’s who are usually seen standing on street corners with big crosses, a bullhorn, and a sign the reads: “Repent! The End is Coming Soon!” The cynic, on the other hand, wouldn’t carry a sign. He’s more likely to walk away, while shaking his head and mumbling, “That figures.”