Jesus Cartoon Sparks Angry Protest

In what can only be compared to a Stryper concert gone horribly awry, thousands of angry Christians marched on Minnesota's state capital late last night. Vexed by a cartoon published by the Cheshire’s Blog (click link for sample) in a recent article (click link for article), which depicted Jesus, the Christian’s lord and savior, as a peace-loving flower child. The mob demanded an immediate apology from Alan Gray of the Cheshire’s Blog, Blogspot.com, Minnesota state representatives, and the devil himself.

When asked about publishing the cartoon, Alan Gray, author of the offending blog, only stated that the image depicted Jesus smiling and showing the peace sign (click link for sample). “I didn’t think the Christians had anything against peace,” claimed Gray, “I don’t see the problem, here.”

“We ain’t got nothing against peace, per se,” said Billy Bob McGee, self-appointed leader of the protest, “it’s just that that darned cartoon showed our loving lord and savior as a hippy with two fingers pointed toward Our Heavenly Father, per se. Everyone knows that a hand gesture like that can only mean one thing; the sign of the devil, per se.”

The Cheshire’s Blog has refused an apology, stating first amendment protection. But, as a sign of goodwill, it has agreed not to republish the offending cartoon (click link for sample). However, in an attempt to give the reader an idea of what the commotion is all about, please observe the following cartoon (click on the image for a larger view):

Singing hymns while brandishing lighter fluid and crosses, the Christian Rebellion Against Bad and Satanic Symbolism (CRABaSS) threatens that if an apology is not given by a February 19th deadline, consequences of major proportions will follow.

“We ain’t messin around, here,” read a CRABaSS statement slipped under Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty’s door. “We’re in this for the long haul, and if’n that ‘pology ain’t made by tomorrow night, someone’s gonna pay ... per se!”

When asked the question as to what the republican governor had to do with the offending cartoon (click link for sample), Billy Bob remarked, "Well, it's sorta like that whole 911/Iraq reason that President Bush gave for invading that god-awful country, per se. If'n that Pawlenty fella wants to keep company with the likes of obviously anti-Christian folks like Alan Gray, per se, then we're gonna ..." At which point the reporters stopped listening. Governor Pawlenty could not be reached for comment.

AG

The Jesus Cartoon

Not to be outdone by anyone (least of which Danish people - are they human, or are they pastries?), we here at the Cheshire’s Blog would like to start our own little social experimentation. If the Danish can get away with pissing off millions of Muslims throughout the world, the Cheshire’s Blog would like to see just how far we can push the Christian community over the edge of sanity.

With that said, we now present the Jesus Cartoon:

FEMA's Trailer Park

Ok, so if I have this correctly, General Richard Skinner, Department of Homeland Security Inspector, has advised that the 11,000 trailers, which are currently sitting empty near the Hope Municipal Airport in Hope, Arkansas, (apparently the Southerners, who lost their homes are too busy with Mardi Gras parties to have asked for housing accommodations just yet), are badly damaged. “Insofar as many of these homes fail to meet FEMA specification requirements, or FEMA has no qualified prearranged site locations to place them, they may have to be disposed of.” Said Skinner

News crews have not been allowed on the site until the other day, when John McDermott, FEMA spokesperson, finally walked camera crews through the vast landscape of metal homes and told reporters that the homes are actually in perfect condition. Of course they are sagging a bit, due to the fact that they’re sitting on Arkansas’ apparent soft soil, but FEMA brought in 6,500 jacks to fix the problem, and they seem to have done the job. Imagine that! FEMA saw a problem and actually fixed it!

FEMA site manager Jerry Hall said that there “are no damaged trailers here … none.” He also stated that the Homeland Security inspectors spent all of half an hour on the over 300 acre site, and then went back to Washington with the news that the mobile homes were falling apart at the seams, and not fit to be habitable by nutria. (Nutria: you good folks from Louisiana know what I’m talking about!)

Why not just move the trailers to their intended destination in the Gulf? Well, according to McDermott, he doesn’t know. He said, “that decision largely depends upon finding sites on which to put them.”

I have a suggestion: How about putting them anywhere the damned hurricane damaged people’s homes? I’m pretty sure that the victims of Katrina; whole families who are either living on the streets or perhaps lucky enough to still reside in state run shelters, while attempting to contend with the loss of neighbors and loved ones, would be more than happy to have a place to call their own, no matter how temporary. Perhaps the metal homes will give these poor bastards some hope, while being defrauded by their home insurance companies.

Keep in mind that with the approach of Spring, and with it tornado season in Arkansas, FEMA’s claim to Homeland Security Inspector General that the homes are in perfect condition may not last very long; jacks for the sagging homes, or not. Don’t forget that tornadoes seem to have a taste for mobile home parks, and the 300 acre mobile home park in Arkansas is no exception.

Just imagine for a moment the kind of new disaster in the making: Metal debris from 11,000 trailers flying through the air, thereby creating one of the worst tornado disasters ever. Perhaps even creating something so large as an F5 twister. Then, Homeland Security can once again make claim that FEMA’s incompetent management, and their refusal to do away with the trailers when the Inspector General specifically told them to do it, will slam the final nail in a coffin that has been meant for FEMA all along.

AG

The Most Dangerous Man in America

Oh, sure. He may look cute and cuddly on the outside, but peel away that fuzzy exterior and Dick Cheney is a nothing more than blatant serial killer. The following collage just goes to show that you don't need to go hunting with Big Dick to ensure your untimely demise.

Advice for the Would-be Blogger: Say Something!

The mainstream press would have us all believing that the blog world is filled with teenage morons, who would rather bore us to death with online journals, or half-witted crackpot journalist wanna-be’s, who have nothing better to do with their time than to create conspiracy theories against their particular government. While this may be the case with some blogs, it tends to be the exception rather than the rule.

It takes all of about ten minutes of cruising through the various blogs found at blog servers like Blogger.com to realize that we Bloggers have much more to say than how our day went, who’s dating who, and the typical water-cooler office chat. As for the conspiracy theories, well, I imagine that this form of communication is where the conspiracy theories might originate. By definition, a conspiracy theory is a supposition of an unexplainable event, filled with half-truths and sometimes wild guesses.

The reason these theories abound is because so much information is being withheld from the public. Whether it’s about the JFK assassination, UFOs, or perhaps even the factual grounds behind the invasion of Iraq (oil and total control of middle east trading), these conspiracy theories flourish because they provide a way for people to make sense of an otherwise nonsensical world.

In a letter dated February 2nd, 2006 and signed by its Director of Policy, the NSA revealed that it has contracts with at least two of the mainstream press wire services, Reuters and Associated Press (AP), and that the information received from these wire services could not be released to the public. In part, here is what the letter said:

“Information provided to NSA by Reuters and AP is protected against disclosure pursuant to 5 U.S.C. Section 552(b)(4). The NSA contract with these companies precludes our release of this information. Violation of these contracts could prevent the government from obtaining similar information in the future.”

This in itself should go to show that the major media conglomerates cannot be trusted to provide the public with truthful information, and so it is small wonder that people will come to their own theories about the truth.

Most Bloggers hold no association with the NSA, nor any other information withholding organization. This disassociation allows Bloggers to speak the truth as they see it, and it allows the readers to get a more truthful account of what is happening in the world. This is why blogging is so vitally important to the world, and why the mainstream media would have the naive public believe that it is something entirely opposite to its nature; it’s a matter of competition through and through.

So, I suppose what I’m trying to advise here is that, if you’re entertaining the thought of creating your own blog, please do so responsibly. Don’t chit-chat the blog away by telling your readers about your day in traffic on the way to work, or waste your reader’s time with information about your particular office politics. You can keep a personal diary for such drivel that only matters to you. Say something with your blog.

Don’t make the organizations like the NSA our only source for the truth. I’m not saying that Bloggers should simply pull half-truths out of their collective asses, but instead they should really SAY something when blogging. Blog about what’s happening in the world as you see it. Blog about the information given to us, after you’re able to read between the NSA corrupted lines. If you’re able to obtain raw news before it is released to the mainstream, make that information public so that the mainstream media won’t have a chance to undermine its validity before they get their hands on it.

AG

Stop It, Cindy!

A friend writes:

“Forgive me for sounding like a prude, but when Cindy does stuff like cozying up to Hugo Chavez and mumbling about running for Sen. Feinstein's seat, it makes me feel vaguely apprehensive.

She's good with her original message and should stick to it. Venturing into the world of hyperbole makes her prime meat for the Right, assisted as they are by the mainstream media.

I'm waiting for one of the Bushevik apologists to ask, "If Cindy Sheehan received bruises, let's see 'em." ”

At first, I was a bit offended by this remark. But, after a few minutes of thought, the hypocrisy behind Sheehan’s latest maneuvers really began to sink in. You may remember, back in November, Cindy tried to make a go of it in the publishing world with Not One More Mother’s Child. The ensuing book signing was a complete flop, it received horrible and scathing reviews, and this in itself should have gone to show that perhaps her fifteen minutes of fame was up then.

Then, in late January, she did make mention that she was considering vying for California Senator Feinstein’s seat, stating, “She voted for the war. She continues to vote for the funding. She won't call for an immediate withdrawal of the troops.”

Not two days later, Sheehan and Hugo Chavez made photo ops. Chavez has stated, “Enough already with the imperialist aggression! … Down with the U.S. empire! It must be said, in the entire world: Down with the empire!” referring to the US intervention and occupation of places from Panama to Iraq.

This all gives me pause for thought. I wonder if Cindy, who’s original message was one of true protest and righteous, angry questioning of our president’s policies, hasn’t tasted fame and decided she wanted more?

The question that irritates me most about this is, considering her original plight, how her recent activities makes peace activists look in the eyes of the extreme right? Are we all just seeking the almighty buck and a few more minutes in the press’ limelight? This sort of carousing makes Sheehan look as though she is profiting from her son’s death, and further rubs the collective activist’s nose in her own crap!

So, after some thought on the subject, I have to say: Stop it, Cindy! You’ve had your time in the spotlight, you made an excellent point, now sit down and shut up! Continuing on with this sort of behavior is beginning to smell an awful lot like wartime profitability, and that smells an awful lot like shit.

AG

A Small Proposal of Protest

One of the things that bothers me so much about Bush is the fact that he cannot abide criticism. The arrest of Cindy Sheehan at the 2006 State of the Union Address is a prime example of what I mean, here. During his 2003 presidential campaign, his aides made sure that there were no protestors – or anyone claiming democratic leanings – attending the campaign speeches, and attendees were forced to sign waivers which claimed that they were of republican persuasion; some waivers even obliged the attendee to vote for Bush in the upcoming election. Where is the fairness in this sort of campaigning? Where is the sentience in only allowing those in your favor to be present at a national address?

Sheehan was arrested for wearing an anti-war t-shirt, which had the words “2,245 Dead. How Many More?” The number on the shirt was augmented with a line drawn diagonally through the “5” to read 2,247 in order to update the latest Iraqi car bombings, which had occurred since the shirt was created. This kind of demonstration is important. It is important because this is how America is supposed to work. We are allowed the right to protest anything we want, as long as we do so without inciting violence in our objections. It is one of the foremost reasons that despondent people immigrate to America, and find our brand of democracy so very appealing.

In taking away this form of protest, or any form for that matter, we are losing a freedom that has been granted to us by the country’s founders. Whether you happen to agree with the policies of the Bush administration, or not, I would hope that the one thing we can all agree on is that our freedoms to speak against the current political system are at stake when people are arrested for simply wearing a t-shirt that expresses facts.

I propose that we all get together and send president Bush flyers that state the latest death tolls. Most of us with computers have a word processing program like Microsoft Word, and a printer. All you need to do is type in the latest number of soldiers killed (you can find the latest count here), increase the font to it’s largest size (perhaps you can even use this bloody font for effect and color it red), print it out and mail it to:
President George W. Bush
c/o The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500

It’s not a big protest on our part, at least it shouldn’t be any big deal, but let’s make King George aware that we’ve all had enough of both his war and his feelings about the protestors, who speak out against his policies. I believe that if enough of us make this one small gesture of our disapproval, the Bush administration will be forced to act. President Bush has plainly stated that he does not pay attention to polls. I wonder if we can force him to at least pay attention to the tolls?

"To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men." - Abraham Lincoln

AG

Blood on the Rainbow

Good morning America! And, a very special good morning to New Bedford, Massachusetts, where police are seeking 18 year-old Jacob D. Robida, who reportedly used a hatchet and a gun to terrorize a local gay bar.

According to the bartender at New Bedford’s Puzzles Lounge, the young man came in, sat down, asked if this was a gay bar, ordered a couple of drinks, watched a friendly game of pool, and then proceeded to hack up and shoot the bar’s patrons. Yup, nothing like a couple of stiff drinks after a hard day to get relaxed.

Police have stated that they think this MAY have been a hate crime. The real question here is why these people are paid to think? If a skinhead walked into a predominately black bar and did the same thing, the hate crime question wouldn’t even be raised! Of course it’s a hate crime, you idiots! The guy comes in wearing a hooded, black sweat shirt with the hood down over his face; a fashion catastrophe in any gay establishment. Do these Sherlocks think he was simply there out of sexual curiosity?

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In other news, King George II had his State of the Union address the other night, where he directly addressed the citizens of Iran; informing them that he respects them. Uh-huh, didn’t he do the same thing to the people of Iraq right before he commenced to bombing the living shit out of them? Bush also stated that there would be no withdrawal from Iraq, claiming that there is “no peace in retreat.” Sound familiar? Those of you who have read Orwell’s 1984 might grasp the correlation: War is Peace … Freedom is Slavery … Ignorance is Strength.

AG