IMPEACH GEORGE BUSH!! The Cheshire's Blog: May 2006

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

The Morning After

For years, now (5 for those of you who want to get nitpicky), I’ve been beseeching the American public to wake up in the hope that they will finally see what an imbecile we have for a president. Now, they finally are … and it’s a little creepy.

As any college student worth his weight can tell you, the party may be a lot of fun, but the day after generally sucks. Now, the political hangover is really starting to kick in and we can’t seem to find anyone with enough aspirin to fix our collective and splitting $500 billion Iraqi headaches.

Just as when anyone wakes up the morning after, we all seem to be worried about the future. We got in a fight with who? Over what, exactly? But, they didn’t have anything to do with the original fight. Aw, shit. Do you think I should go over and apologize to the guy?

We’re finally becoming disillusioned with the White House. We’re starting to realize that the lies we were told at last night’s party are pure bullshit. The lap-dancing hooker really isn’t madly in love with us, the floor really isn’t that great a place to take a nap, and Homeland Security is a complete farce.

Homeland Security. Now there’s a contradiction in terms that rivals Army Intelligence. If we were so goddamned concerned over our homeland’s security, then why did we attempt to sell off middle eastern ports that are crawling with support for terrorism? Why, for that matter, would we lessen our border protection and just stand aside while millions of illegal immigrants flood into our “protected” nation? If these throngs of people can cross over our borders unscathed, then what’s to stop Al Qaeda from going shopping at the Mall of America?

People are finally beginning to wake up to the fact that our president isn’t the patriotic fuck-all that we’ve always thought him to be. It’s no longer funny to see him bungle words, or put on that old “Aw shucks, I’m just an ignorant Texan turd with a lot of money” act. The patriotic hangover is finally starting to make us nauseous, and we now have to figure out a way to get the dead hooker out of the hotel room without causing a scene.

Bush lost any credibility as president when Katrina hit New Orleans. The images will never be forgotten – Bush on vacation playing guitar, then later, flying over the city while thousands of people were drowning. He stood by and did nothing for an entire week and just watched as people died. This was inexcusable.

The creepy part about all this sudden realization is that it’s like watching a horror movie unfold in front of our eyes. We know the killer is lurking nearby, but everyone on TV is pretending that everything is normal. We realize that the “Leader of the Free World” is a moron, it’s scares the hell out of us, and yet we continue to just watch the plot unfold. It’s more than just creepy, it’s terrifying.

I don’t know anyone who gives a rat’s ass about the Middle East – or China, or Russia – purely on a humanitarian basis. Not enough to actually do anything about it, anyway. No, what we care about is, as Mr. Bush clearly stated, “Is our children learning?”

We don’t really care about a shotgun wedding between the United States and Iraq, but we will care about the $500 billion we’ll need to fork over when the Iraqi bill comes due.

AG